Platonic Precious Metals
by pikaree1
Summary: Silver's stuck with Gold for a day. Why? Because Blue's mom's friend's daughters are fangirls and his ever-so-thoughtful older sister decided to spare him the pain. Sort of a Silver torture fic like 'Double Agents and Cross-Dressing'. Rated for Silver's, er, SLIGHT violence. Oneshot!


**Petal: Soooooooooooo... TheFinalElements and all other readers, I present to you another fic where I pick on Silver. Don't worry, he gets his own victory in the end.**

**Silver: I better. She doesn't own PokeSpe.**

Silver sighed in irritation as he remembered why he was at the park… with Gold… without his pokemon.

*Flashback mode*

_"Silvy~" Blue called._

_The red-haired boy looked up from his book. "Yes?"_

_She grinned at him. "I got you a playdate, Silvy!" she cheered. "Aren't you happy?"_

_He sweatdropped. "Um, I'm not five, y'know."_

_She shrugged. "Anyway, you have to leave the house. Greenie and I are having guests over, so I want you to go to the park or something and play, I dunno, catch, with the person who comes to pick you up." Seeing his confused expression, she explained, "I asked a group of people at the game corner to hang out with you, so they drew straws. I don't know who got the short one."_

_The hair on the back of Silver's neck prickled. "Did you say… the game corner?" he asked faintly._

_"Why, ye-"_

_"Siiiiiiiiilvyyyyyyy!" a familiar- not to mention annoying- voice called. "I'm heeeeeere!"_

_Silver gritted his teeth. "First off, don't call me Silvy, Silv, or any other nickname. It's degrading. Second, _**I WOULDN'T GO SOMEWHERE WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU PAID ME**_!"_

_"But Silvy!" Gold fake-cried. "I thought we were friends!"_

_At that very moment, Green walked down the stairs with a cup of coffee. He stared at Gold, then at Silver. He patted the miserable younger boy's shoulder sympathetically. "I hear the police go nuts over harrassment."_

*End flashback*

_'And now I'm here… playing catch until Falkner's patrol ends or Green says it's safe to come back,'_ Silver thought grouchily. Notice that he said Green, not Blue. He loved her dearly, but Green was more reliable than her in instances like these.

"Silver! Catch!" After two black eyes, a bloody nose, various bruises, the snapping of a pool cue, and a visit to Yellow, Gold had decided that calling Silver by a nickname was a painful idea. Very painful.

Silver caught the ball with one hand and then pegged it at Gold without so much as a blink of an eye. "You suck, Gold," he said bluntly as the other boy keeled over in pain when the ball hit is stomach.

"Gee… Thanks… Silver…" he wheezed sarcastically. "How for the love of Arceus are you so strong?"

The other boy simply shrugged indifferently, but then his pokegear rang. And it was Green's number. "Can I come back yet?"

There was an annoyed sigh on the other end. "Nope. Turns out the pesky woman invited a friend of her mother's, and guess what? She has daughters. Who are my age. Who are fangirls. I'm more used to dealing with them than you, and I've got Blue to back me up. You, on the other hand… She's trying to find a girlfriend for you…"

"I already have a-" Silver winced, remembering that he was supposed to keep it a secret. "I mean, I see. Any suggestions on where I should stay? My hideouts have been trashed by Team Rocket already."

"Hm… How about Yellow's?"

"She's got Red over. And before you ask, I didn't spy on her. I ran into her the other day while escaping a group of Blue's fanboys and she told me about it after she got rid of them." Silver decided to refrain from adding that he had actually beaten up his 'playmate'.

"Huh. How about Crystal?"

"But she and her mom are nomads, and I'm not staying at that orphanage. The last time I went there, a kid called me Crobatman."

"Argh! Just stay with Gold or something and I'll try to pick you up tomorrow!"

"Green, wai-!"

Click!

...

...

...

"NOOOO!" Silver screamed. "Green, how could you abandon me during my time of need?!"

Gold (who had been listening to the conversation) grinned and slung an arm around the other boy's shoulders. "Guess you're stuck with me, buddy!" he laughed.

Silver curled up into a ball and started cursing Arceus.

A couple hours later, Gold and Silver were taking a lunch break from two-person-dodgeball-where-nobody-gets-out.

"…Dude. Don't you like to eat anything?" Gold finally asked after repeatedly asking Silver where he wanted eat. Now, he normally wouldn't be asking his friend's opinion, but Crystal had drilled it into his head that when on an outing with someone, be it special friend or normal friend or enemy, it was always best to ask the other person what they wanted.

"You don't have to provide me with food, Gold!" Silver insisted. "So just choose a place and let me pay for myself!"

Gold sheugged. "Okay. Let's get ice cream!"

_'Ice cream?' _Silver thought in bewilderment as Gold dragged him off to the ice cream shop. _'Doesn't he eat real food?'_

"I always go to the ice cream parlor when Mom's out of town and can't cook for me!" the goggled boy went on.

* * *

The waitress winked. "Tell me, what can I get for you, cutie?"

Gold grinned. "Well, you could-"

Silver smashed his fist onto the other boy's head and snapped, "Don't cheat on Crystal, imbecile," at the same time the waitress said, "I was talking to the cool mysterious guy."

Silver sighed. "I'll just have a vanilla ice cream. In a bowl, if you don't mind."

"Hot fudge sundae and a quintuple scoop chocolate ice cream cone with a chocolate cone, chocolate chips, chocolate syrup, and chocolate sprinkles," Gold said with a delighted grin.

Silver sweatdropped. _'Chocoholic alert…'_

Then he heard a familiar female voice say, "I'm sorry I'm late for my shift, Minako!"

He turned around. "Soul?!"

The brown-haired, pigtailed girl blinked for a second before grinning. "Silvy!" she cheered, glomping him.

"Soul… I can't… breathe… And don't do this… in… pub… lic…!" he choked out.

Gold blinked. "Silver, you have a girlfriend?!" he demanded incredulously.

Silver simply facepalmed while Soul grinned. "Yep! We're a cute couple, aren't we? He wanted to keep it a secret, but whoops! The Delcatty's out of the bag!" she giggled.

Minako stormed off.

The boys re-ordered, Soul served, Silver got a kiss on the cheek, and Gold got a collection of things: a good laugh, blackmail, a way to get in Blue's good graces, and plenty of threats.

* * *

On their way to Gold's house, they came across some guy who called himself the name rater. "I rate names!" he declared. "Would you like me to do that for you? It's free!"

"N-"

"Yes! Please do!" Gold interrupted. "I'm Gold, and he's Silver."

The name rater stroked his beard. "I see... Gold, eh? Your name is the color of success, achievement, and triumph! You have an abundance of prosperity, luxury, quality, and prestige! And there's a whole bunch of other stuff, but the bottom line is, your name means awesomeness!"

"Cool!" Gold cheered. "Alright, Silver's turn!"

"Really, there's no ne-"

"I pity you, young man," the Name Rater interrupted. "Your name is a color that has feminine energy."

Silver slumped to the ground. _Doom-da-da-doom._

"Ahem... It is fluid, emotional, sensitive, and mysterious."

Gold snickered. "Hey, Silver, you should go back to being a thief! You can rename yourself Phantom Thief Dark!"

Silver glared at him. "I hate you."

"No, you don't! I'm your best friend!" Gold objected.

"You be quiet." Silver angrily dragged him the rest of the way.

* * *

At Gold's house, he had set out a futon for his friend. Silver wrinkled his nose. "It smells like perfume."

Gold shrugged apologetically. "Sorry; Crystal sleeps on that one whenever she comes over."

Silver sighed and flopped down on it. "Whatever. At least it's better than a sewer." He glanced at Gold. "Don't ask."

Gold shrugged. "Whatever. But Silver! This is a sleepover! We gotta stay up 'til 2 A.M. talking! And play video games! And eat snacks! And make prank calls!"

"This isn't a sleepover since I'm not here by choice. I don't want my brain polluted by your mindless chatter. I've never played a video game before and don't plan to. I don't know if you actually have anything edible. Finally, I've already been wanted by the police. It's not a pleasant experience. Good night." Then he turned over to face away from Gold.

"But-"

"I said goodnight."

"Just one video game?" Gold begged. "Just one round of Super Smash Bros! Then I'll leave you alone!"

"Fine," Silver sighed.

* * *

"HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS?!" Gold demanded. "YOU'RE USING LEVEL 1 MEGAMAN AND I HAVE A LEVEL 9 VILLAGER! HOW IS THIS HUMANLY POSSIBLE?!"

"Are you telling me you tried to cheat?" Silver asked threateningly.

"Uh... Nooooooooooo, whatever gave you that idea?" Gold replied nervously. "Anyway, REMATCH!"

"No." Silver returned to his futon and covered his head with the blanket.

"Fine," Gold grumbled. "I just hope you don't mind me watching my Naruto DVDs."

Silver sat bolt upright. "Did you just say Naruto? As in the ninja anime show?" he demanded.

"Um… Yeah?" Gold answered, eyeing his best friend warily. _'Please don't let him hate Naruto, please don't let him hate Naruto…'_

"I love that show! Let's watch!"

Gold exhaled in relief. He wouldn't be sent to the hospital- or Yellow's house- again today.

* * *

"Sasuke! Why the heck are you acting so OOC?!" Gold screamed at the TV.

"Yeah! Quit smiling like Naruto!" Silver added. "And since when do you say 'He fell for it!' with that goofy expression?"

"Let's watch 'Road to Ninja' next!" Gold cheered.

"No! 'Road to Sakura'!" Silver argued.

"Aw, c'mon, the movie comes first!"

"Does not!"

The animefest carried long into the night.

* * *

As sunlight hit Silver's face, he squinted his eyes open. "Morning, huh?" he muttered. Glancing at Gold (who had also fallen asleep in front of the TV) he sighed, "Guess I'll have to make my own breakfast."

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Silver went to open it- it was Green.

"Don't smile, okay? You can come back."

Silver was silent for a moment, head down, before looking up with his typical serious expression. "I see. Thanks for telling me." His hand strayed to his pokegear. "Maybe I should pull a prank on Gold before leaving. What was Crys's number again…?"

**Petal: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease revieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!**

**Silver: After all you put me through in that story, you didn't even show what prank Crys and I pulled on him?  
**

**Petal: Nope.**


End file.
